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Just for fun, and then some stuff NOT fun at all

I saw this game in Alessandra's and then in Libby's blog, and I thought I would give it a try!

Rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each question. They have to be real places, names etc. Try to use different answers if you have the same initial as someone who has already done this. You cannot use you own name for the boy/girl question.

1. What is your name? Talina
2. A four letter word? Time
3. A boy's name? Thomas
4. A girl's name? Tammie
5. An occupation? Trovador! hehehehehehe!
6. A colour? Teal
7. Something you wear? Topcoat
8. A beverage? Tea!
9. A food? Tamales!
10. Something found in the bathroom? Towel
11. A place? Timbuktu

Play along if you want!

On other news, I finished yet ANOTHER hat (I should really stop, i'm gonna wear out the only circular needles in that size, and it was HARD to get them! lol!) for my hubbie and it looks great. I have yet to convince him to pose for a photo ("no, YOU wear it and I will snap the pic" "but it is YOUR hat" "yes, but YOU knit it" and so on and so forth), even with the new job and all . Please do NOT bear in mind that last sunday all I had to do was the decrease rounds. TEN rounds in one week. PSHEEESH!




Dad and I had a confrontation of sorts, that could have escalated into something nasty if my Dad were not as goodhearted as he is. I felt SO ashamed afterwards. I had been building up pressure ALL WEEK and friday I finally snapped. You see, my eldest brother and I are like oil and water, and it takes all of my willpower NOT to lash out at him when he starts provoking me. And he loooooves to do that. A lot of the time I think it is because I am the only girl, and he was about 7 years old when I was born, so he resents the attention I got from everybody ( or so they tell me). And then, he was a brilliant student that decided not to pursue a degree in medicine (which he now regrets, as he told me in one of the FEW candid moments we shared) because it would mean being appart from his girlfriend (now wife) and he didn't want me to go to college in a city about 100 miles from home, because he did not want me to study when he didn't (he's told me on ocasion in about as much words). AND I have a short short temper and he is quite ingenious at pushing my buttons.

Why am I sharing all this dirt? (don't worry, I aknowledge that I have as much guilt in us not being closer as he does) Well, Dad was telling me about some data processing he wanted me to do and while explaining he said it might be too much for me, that I wouldn't understand what it was about, and that I would mess it up. And my brother let out a giggle. That did it. I knew my Dad was just thinking outloud, not meaning to underestimate me but was rather preocupied, but when BB started laughing at me, tears of humilliation/rage started rolling down my face. Dad saw it and asked me what was wrong, but I did not answer. I did not speak AT ALL during the remainder of my BB's visit to the office.

When he had left, Dad asked me again what was wrong, and this time I told him. I told him that he had been telling me all week that I was not up to the job, that he had no time to explain and that I would not understand and I had said nothing, because i knew he was stressed. But that doing it with BB there was too much.

And then, I felt like the lowest of the lowest worms... Dad just said"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I promise I'll be more careful"

DAMN!

I should have been more humble. I knew that it was not my Dad's attitude that made me snap, but BB's making fun of me. I knew that Dad was only saying those things because, well, we feel more comfortable with the ones we trust, otherwise he would not have asked me to work with him. And then I'd done exactly the very thing I had been complaining about

I lashed out at him. When I really wanted to punch BB's lights out (not really practical, if you bear in mind he is a full foot taller and at least 80 pounds heavier than me).

Wanna know what was worse? Next morning, Dad was as cordial and jolly as if NOTHING had happened.

I wanna kick myself. Anyone wanna help me do that?

4 comments:

Libby said...

CT, I will not help you kick yourself. Give yourself a break. When you feel calm, just talk to your dad. I'm sure he understands, since he is so kindhearted. Even though I really can't "help" you, I bet it felt good to vent. :-)

Keep on crocheting, listen to some good music, and smile, girl! :-D

* Thanks for the comments on my blog, AND, I bet you could rock some braids! There is a style for every face. :-)

Tammie said...

i totally think you're being too hard on yourself. i think you handled the situation the best you coud considering how you were feeling.

i am a firm believer in lashing out, exploding, and telling people what's on your mind. sometimes you need to do that to get to the bottom of an issue and clear all the junk out of your head.(can you tell i've done this many times--ha!)

the important thing is that you apologized to your dad.

we're human--we all do crappy things once in a while. i second libbys words: "give yourself a break.".

:)

Just be happy! said...

we all have our moments, don't feel bad.
try to take it easy and relax a little bit, you deserve some time for yourself.
:o)

kraftykash said...

Hang in there girl! Keep knitting away...things will get better!

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