This year has passed flying by, for me. I seem to have an altered time-space continium (sic... is it spelled right?) because by little J.E. was born just last week, and yesterday she was one year old! sigh!And J.A! where does she get all those ideas? She amazes me daily with the things she asks and says and does!!!!! Gosh, those two girls are going to be quite a handfull! I seriously think in stopping here, because I don't know how could I handle even ONE more baby! lol!
December is the happiest and the saddest month of all for me. It is a month of merriment and goodbyes, of joy and endings. Want an example? on the 25th, I'm attending a Golden wedding. My great aunt and her husband celebrate 50 years together. Well, last week he got diagnosed cancer. LAST december, my daugther was born and my grandaunt Margherita got sent home from the hospital cause they could do nothing more for her, and she said she wanted to die in her home. See what I mean?
Until maybe two or three years ago, I really did not feel grownup at all. I felt just like I did when I was 18 or so. I think the difference between being young and grownup is not age related at all but rather in what you perceive. The world holds more joys and more pain as you get more aware of it. When I was younger, I was only aware of what I felt, what I needed, what I wanted. Suddenly I find myself devoid of the bubble wrapping that kept me appart from the rest of the world, and thus I am directly exposed to all of it's glory, it's fury, it's... humanity.
And yet, I would not change it for anything! because I am beggining to suspect that I owe all of this to the little girls I was talking about earlier. It is because of them that I realize how frail life is, how precious. I love my husband, but I LIVE for my daugthers.
So... I think now would be a time to start preparing myself for the time when they will leave the nest (thanks, Anna Maria, for the reference to birds/family that got all this going on within my brain! I don't know wether to thank you or resent you! lol!) It will take me ages to be ready, so I really must start now! lol!
Can you believe that when I started to type, the theme of this post was to be a New Year's Resolution?
Maybe some other time. ta-tah!
1 comment:
This was a beautiful post! You're a very wise woman.
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